


The Not-So-Secret Kirkwall Diary of Anders (& Justice!)

by naye



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen, Humor, Sorry Not Sorry, Very Secret Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 10:57:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5825920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naye/pseuds/naye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Day 1: Arrived in Kirkwall. Mages seem v. oppressed. Also, have nowhere to live."</p>
<p>The trials and tribulations of setting up a clinic in a spider-infested sewer, exploring tunnels full of lyrium smugglers (why so many?!) and narrowly avoiding the evil templars everywhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Not-So-Secret Kirkwall Diary of Anders (& Justice!)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skuldchan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skuldchan/gifts).



> I'm so sorry. I mock Anders only because I love him. And I post this only because it made my wife laugh.

**Day 1:** Arrived in Kirkwall. Mages seem v. oppressed. Also, have nowhere to live.

**Day 2:** Killed 7 different robbers. This must not be a good part of town. Upside? No templars!

**Day 5:** Have found many suffering souls to help. There’s a nice spot in creepy abandoned mines/sewer tunnels that might serve as a clinic.

**Day 6:** Future clinic slightly less full of giant spiders. Have not yet found a public bath. Where does one go to wash off spider goop around here?

**Day 10:** Spiders all dead. Another 3 robbers killed in self-defense. Spider corpses starting to smell.

**Day 12:** Helped a woman deliver her baby! Life is so precious. Mother & baby fine. Father of baby offered to build new cots - and for some reason a tub?

**Day 13:** Father from yesterday already settled tub in back room (walled-off mine shaft). Friends of the family are carrying water and wood. V. kind of them but don’t see the rush? Mother & baby recovering in clinic.

**Day 14:** Maker’s breath. Had forgotten ‘clean.’ It’s great. Should do it more often. Also not sure what’s been happening anywhere not Darktown these past weeks. Got a little too absorbed with helping the sick, in every way. Related: Justice is used to literally being in a decomposing body. Note to self - hygiene standards should be higher than those of a corpse.

**Day 17:** Wow, so many more people are coming down here after we—I—started bathing. And also got rid of pile of dead robbers.

**Day 18:** Went out to Lowtown for supplies. Saw some templars. They def. seem evil and oppressive.

**Day 22:** Have made contact with some mages. Was right re: templars. K-C Meredith is awful and the mages have even less freedom (!!) than in Ferelden.

**Day 23:** Outraged to hear about all the mage suffering. Demanded an explanation from some woman in the Chantry. NOT HELPFUL.

**Day 24:** Think I saw a cat!!

**Day 25:** Some of the food left for cat was gone this morning!

**Day 26:** Wow, the rats down here get really big. Like, really.

**Day 27:** Still no cat.

**Day 33:** Busy week. Have explored the tunnels. Think it might be possible to get into the Gallows! Would be brilliant for freeing oppressed mages! P.S. Still no cat.

**Day 35:** Miss Ser Pounce-A-Lot. The rats just aren’t the same. Bet Circle mages here don’t get to keep pets. Awful.

**Day 37:** Tunnels randomly full of lyrium smugglers. Why so many?! Thought smuggling was about stealth, not brute force.

**Day 40:** Found a tavern. Apparently can’t get drunk anymore. Really needed to, too. Patients dying. Mages oppressed. How deal without beer?!

**Day 41:** Templars in the market again. How dare they!!

**Day 44:** Exciting news! Almost at Gallows. Spiders took out some of the lyrium smugglers. Lyrium smugglers took out some of the spiders. Fight still ongoing at last sighting.

**Day 45:** By Andraste’s knickerweasels, why would anyone turning to blood magic revive a bunch of lyrium smugglers?! Clearly these poor mages have been driven insane by templars. Still, undead smugglers making exploring v. difficult.

**Day 47:**  Met v. friendly dwarf in tavern. No beard! Odd. But good listener. P.S. Still no cat.

**Day 50:** Fereldan came asking for me. Not for clinic—for me. Was with another mage and they both asked for my help! So far, great. But then the downside: they’re into Deep Roads? Ugh.

**Day 50, again:** Fereldan was v. nice-looking, with lovely name - Hawke. If Hawke comes back, should agree to help and explain all about MAGE OPPRESSION. With a mage sister, that should be a great topic for conversation, right? Think most of the undead lyrium smugglers have been eaten by spiders. Tonight I’ll make it to the Gallows!   


End file.
